This is Natalie. I have been avoiding writing anything because just reading texts, emails, and comments makes me cry. But I want everyone to know how grateful I am for your kind thoughts and all of your prayers. Today I am trying to not cry as much (crying while I type this doesn't count), and I'm focusing on thinking of some of the small blessings we have already seen.
1. I am grateful for a nurse who was attentive and caught this problem early so we can fix it and move on. It would have been way worse if we'd have gone home and Seth went into heart failure.
2. I am grateful for everyone who has taken and is currently taking care of Seth. Everyone has been very kind and helpful at both hospitals. It's amazing to hear the nurses talk gently and sweetly to the children in their care.
3. I'm grateful for family and friends who've taken the time to include us in their prayers. We struggle to feel worthy of the concern of others when so many of our loved ones bravely face spina bifida, autism, premature birth, Down's Syndrome, MS, infertility, and even the passing of a child (in some cases children) and we're being told Seth will almost certainly lead a relatively unaffected life.
3. I am grateful to live during a time where surgeries like this are possible. It's amazing to think of the things that can be done to save a child. I'm grateful Seth can live a long, happy life.
4. I am grateful to my mom who has been dealing with a 6 and 3 year-old for the last 5 days. I know they are wearing her out, but she never complains.
5. I am grateful that for now that I get to hold Seth and feed him as much as I want. That will change in a few days, but I am grateful that there are no restrictions right now.
6. I am grateful that I am still Seth's mom and he knows it. I am the one who can calm him down and it's clear to me that he knows when I'm holding him. (He likes his dad, too. Just not as much :)
7. I am grateful that Seth holds my finger when he nurses. It makes me weep during the feeding, but it also makes me love him that much more.
8. I am grateful for my family: Mark who is such a great big brother and helper; Dax who has always makes me laugh; Randy who has been a rock through all of this and who helps me keep things in perspective; and Seth, who is already a fighter. I can't wait to spend more time with him. I am so grateful we can be a family forever.
Natalie, Thank you for your sweet post today. My heart aches for you and knows that those tears roll freely. Embrace the next few days/moments when you can still hold and smother with kisses. We've all been praying for baby Seth. We love you all!
ReplyDeleteNatalie and Randy...I had no idea you had this blog. I just talked to your Mom and I'm so glad she told me about it so I can keep up to date. I feel so terrible that I didn't even know until today that you were going through this struggle. Lots of love from our family. You will all be in our prayers. Seth is a beautiful baby!
ReplyDeleteOh Natalie, what a sweet and wonderful post. Words don't really come easy but tears do. I just can't stop thinking about you. You look so beautiful holding that beautiful baby. Heavenly Father is holding you now. We all love you all!!!
ReplyDeleteI love the pictures...especially of him holding your finger while you nurse. Those moments are so precious. I am so glad you are able to feed him and bond with him!
ReplyDeleteI'm grateful to have a cell phone where I can read this while riding in my car. I wish I could be there but you are in our prayers and we will be home early next week to help. Seth is so handsome and a fighter. Keep strong and you are allowed to cry, you are mom and just gave birth so you are still hormonal.
ReplyDeleteJust because others have been through something hard doesn't diminish your burden. We love you and are so worried about all of you!
ReplyDeleteSandy
Steph told me to read the blog and she left it up on my computer so when I get home from work I can check it and see how everyone is doing. I am grateful for that. I have never really thought about something like this happening but when it does in our family it really brings it all home. I am grateful for you and Randy.
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